And On and On and On

It amazes me sometimes how attitudes about certain areas of one's life can be affected by attitudes adopted or implanted into other areas.  But in a way, that's the very phenomenon on which I am counting during this year-long quest to run a marathon.  In fact, I have already noticed that my drive and ambition has become more finely tuned and persistent since I started this training and began pushing myself.  But what caught my attention was the reverse of that very observation happening.  To see what I mean, let's go over a brief incident from 2 nights ago.

My stunning, beautiful, amazing (and perhaps super-powered) girlfriend, was talking with me about our respective career paths.  Now, as far as careers go, I don't have one, and the one that Erin (my aforementioned lady) has is not the career she would like to have.  I, however, am in school, and have some self-inflicted damage to my academic record to repair before I can even consider applying to PhD programs.  You see, I'm a philosopher, a person who majored in, and is obtaining an M.A. in Philosophy.  This means that until I get my PhD, there will be no work that will cater specifically to, nor demand, my particular skill set.  The damage I need to repair will mean a few more semesters in school than I would have had to take, and will further postpone a PhD.  In addition, I have a good amount of debt that needs to be paid down before it gets out of hand, and that will require me to, barring some financial miracle, enter the workforce for a few years after getting my M.A.  Now, I'd have no problem with this, except for the fact that teaching at a Community College or Liberal Arts College with only an M.A. will provide nothing close to a sustainable income per year.  This is something that I just had to come to terms with, and it was mighty uncomfortable to do so.  But after talking it out with Erin for a while, she gave me a long hug and told me that she won't let me waste away in the workplace, and that she would make sure that I accomplished my goal.  In a way, that was probably all that I needed to keep believing.

I woke up yesterday with renewed positivity, and I decided to have faith that it will work out, so long as I continue to push myself and stay positive.  I didn't expect it, but that attitude seeped into my run yesterday morning.  I used the Google Maps Distance Measuring Tool to map out a full 5 kilometer (3.2 mile) route.  I went out hoping to do the whole thing without walking.  Once I got out, I kept a good pace and kept a good breathing rhythm.  However, I took a wrong turn, and ended up going down a road that cut a little distance off my run.  When all was said and done, I ended up doing 4.5 k (almost 3 miles) in just under 25 minutes.  At first, I was a little miffed when I realized that I couldn't possibly have run 5k in 25 minutes, but then I realized that even if I didn't run the full 5k, I could have.  You see, I ran the whole distance without walking.  I wanted to walk several times, but I pushed through it, and after a few minutes of running through the exhaustion, I stopped feeling it.  By the time I reach my apartment complex, I realized that I could have run longer, no doubt about it.  This was a big deal for me, because I've never run over a mile without stopping to walk a bit, and also because this indicated to me that I may just be ready to run a full 5k.  To me, this is clear indication of progress.  Once I run a 5k successfully, I am no longer a beginner.  Once I can clock 12 or 15 miles per week, I am ready to start training for the kind of races that more serious runners do.  In short, I may just becoming a runner, one who runs, and enjoys it.  I'll keep you posted.

In the meantime, stay positive.  It may just keep you afloat until the boat comes.